Muslims Discussing Differences – Letter to an Aunty

Raahim Zafar

Photo by David McEachan on Pexels.com

Almost exactly one year ago was Freshers’ Week in my final year at university. It also coincided with the beginning of the Islamic new year: the month of Muharram. The time of year holds great importance for Muslims, Shi’a and Sunni alike, but there is one event that often causes tension and, in my opinion, unnecessary controversy. That event is the killing of the grandson of the Prophet Muhammad, Hussain.

Shi’a Muslims tend not to take part in university Islamic Societies/Muslim Student Associations. There are many reasons for this, which I hope to explore in detail in an upcoming podcast series, but it suffices to say my university was something of an exception. With a tiny Muslim community as things were, there was no space for sectarian drama (there was plenty of other drama, don’t worry). So, in that context, in my final year I (one of three and a half Shi’as in the town) became president of a society that was small but still dominated by Sunnis.

Even in the years before I served as President however, I had made it a point to bring attention to certain Shi’a beliefs and practices to overcome misunderstandings and to normalise… well, our existence. In September 2019, like the three years before it, I gave a talk on Karbala and Ashura looking at things from a Sunni and Shi’a perspective and doing my best not to be divisive. This happened to be the second day of Freshers’ Week (which was the day of Ashura) and a dear friend’s mother had been visiting from her home country. A few weeks after that talk I got a message from her through her daughter.

Alas, I’ve lost the original message (it was on my old phone) but I do have a copy of the reply I sent… because I wrote it on the computer. It was over 1000 words long. Not because the aunty had said anything bad or offensive to me and I wanted a fight (I love her dearly), but because there were some important assumptions in her message that I wanted to address clearly and openly– and, hopefully, politely. I’ve edited the letter to change names and locations, but it’s more or less the same. Anything in square brackets is clarification, translations, and/or commentary.

“Dear Aunty,

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Wa’alaikum as-salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu wa muwaddatuhu wa ghufranuhu wa muhabbatuhu wa ridaa’ah. [Me being extra and replying to her traditional “may peace be upon you” with extra prayers for herbut probably also with grammatical mistakes]

Thank you very much for your message and I hope this message finds you in the best of health and iman [faith]. I apologise for not replying sooner. As I was telling Noor [her daughter, not real name] I’ve just been drowned, among other things, by my degree, societal responsibilities, trying to get my deposit back from my last letting agent [they were demonic] and I completely forgot about your message.

It’s my pleasure to have driven you around [town] and, more importantly, to have finally met you! And it should be me thanking you for your help because we were very short of hands during Freshers’ Week but God provides from where we don’t expect (including India it seems)! JazakAllah khayran [May God reward you] and please take care of yourself.

With regards to the MSA I will of course endeavour to use my role [as president] to create a welcoming community for people of all backgrounds- whether they fast every other day and pray tahajjud every night, associate themselves solely culturally with Islam or aren’t even Muslim. I want the MSA to be a place for everyone to feel safe and respected. [Let me just be clear, I don’t mean “safe space,” but that’s for another time]

One of my fears when coming into university in first year as a fresher was sectarianism. I don’t know how familiar you are with the scene on university campuses across the country, or with the situation of Shi’a Muslims in the UK or abroad, but in most universities there are separate Shi’a societies which exist for many reasons- and I’m not saying the individuals who founded those societies are free of blame- but one of the reasons is that Shi’as are often made to feel unwelcome in Islamic societies/MSAs. I can tell you about my experiences in school, in a local Central Mosque or narrate stories from friends both in the UK and the States, but it suffices to know that negative experiences exist and aren’t uncommon. (Although you should know I have also had many positive experiences- it’s not all doom and gloom!)

Fortunately, and by the grace of God, the situation in our university is much more positive. Alhamdulillah [All praise to God]. I personally don’t believe there should be separate societies in an ideal world, but I understand why in some situations and contexts they may be needed. I have a friend in Edinburgh who, in his final year at university there, dissolved the Shi’a society and to this day there are Shi’as and Sunnis working side by side on IsocEd’s committee and giving fair representation, for example, in the speakers they invite and the events they hold. 

I don’t envision giving a talk on a particular topic or highlighting an alternate point of view will change anyone’s beliefs and that’s not the reason I give these talks or arrange for these events. Last Friday I gave a joint circle on “What is Sufism?” and I was disappointed when half of the six people who turned up were non-Muslim. In my experience, this is a problem in the Muslim community: the problem of not being willing to learn about people who are different to us in some ways but claim to be the same as us in other ways. And this isn’t just speculation. I was speaking earlier today to a fresher about it and joking to him about his not coming and he told me he didn’t need to come to a talk about Sufism and I said to him, “Do you know what Sufism is?” and he said “I know enough,” and I told him “No you don’t” and he agreed with me and said “I knew you would say that.” It was a light-hearted conversation and an exchange made in jest but it does points to the deeper issue I mentioned before: a reluctance to engage.

There are reasons why people may not want to engage, and that’s something we can maybe discuss another time, but as for focusing on common grounds I 100% agree. The informal talk you came to that evening was in some ways improvised and I had to make a lot of sacrifices in choosing what to and what not to talk about in the limited time I had and I’ll be the first to admit its profound shortcomings- but one of the things I ended up failing to emphasise on this year was how Imam al-Husayn (as) is a role model for all Muslims and a personality who should be a point of unity and not one of division. 

Despite jokes made by myself or anyone else, I don’t intend on ‘Shiafying‘ anything or anyone and, for example, if I give adhan [the call to prayer] on Fridays I do so in a manner that doesn’t put others at discomfort and when I am occasionally asked to lead prayer (such as at another MSA’s event last week), I do so in a way that any Sunnis praying behind me can follow and aren’t put off. But I can only do this because I have gone out of my way to learn about how others pray and how I can adjust my prayer to make it easier for them [while remaining within the limits and rules of my own doctrine].

Sects exist, differences exist and while the common ground is much vaster than the alleyways of difference that divide us, it is vital to enlighten those alleyways with knowledge so we don’t make assumptions about that which lies in the dark. It is assumption (ظن) that most people follow, as God mentions in the Quran (Surah Yunus), and we do not benefit from such assumptions in any way– and collective assumption only leads communities astray.

Therefore I will always be certain to mention the Shi’a side of things on both contentious and non-contenious issues where I deem appropriate (whether I agree with the belief or not and, when appropriate and where my knowledge allows, I will mention viewpoints which may not be my own from other sects and schools of thoughts). I will always aim to do so in a respectful and academic manner because firstly, I believe that should be the nature of a university experience and second, the fact is that in order to bring Muslims together we can’t just treat ikhtilaaf [divergent, but legitimate conclusions in Islamic law/theology] and different opinions as not existing. It is my belief that only through understanding the genuine beliefs of those who hold views different to ourselves and seeing the true sincerity of someone we may consider “the other” that we can truly coexist in a harmonious manner and develop as human beings.

Too often in non-Shi’i settings I find that the Shi’a is either treated as the elephant in the room and completely glossed over, or misrepresented to the point of lies and myths about Shi’ism being more well known amongst non-Shi’as than actual beliefs. It is likely that once most Muslims leave university they will never hear a non-majority point of view represented in a manner that does it justice- if it is ever mentioned that is- from their mosque. So what I may do is little more than a splash in the ocean, but hopefully it will benefit someone somewhere down the line.

So I just want to end this by saying I will 100% take your advice to heart and seek to incorporate reminders of similarity whenever I do mention differences. What I wrote above was just to elucidate my approach to the MSA- and more generally, to Islamic discussions- which I think may have come across wrong in the short time you heard me speak and I have reflected on that and will be more wary of it in the future. With regards to my driving, I will of course continue to drive at the speed limit or under it at (almost) all times, but most certainly if your children are ever in the car and I will say Bismillah [I begin in the name of God] whenever I start a journey insha’Allah [If God wills].

I hope to see you again someday 🙂

Take care and lots of love

Raahim”

The letter was somewhat hastily written, but what are your thoughts on this? How do you think controversial and potentially divisive matters should be addressed? Should it be left to experts or does the average believer have the right to discuss them? Let us know your thoughts and follow us on facebook for updates on our latest projects.

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